After waking up to hear the tragedy in Orlando, I found myself with no words. As I watched news clips, tears streamed from my eyes. My heart hurt. And even now, I still can't seem to get my thoughts fully collected. I think about the families, the friends, and how our world lost far too many people in one act. That those affected will never live the same life they did yesterday, a week ago, a month ago. There will be no way to fill those voids. The road is going to be long, to learn to live without a precious soul in your life, learning to cope each day as it is presented to you, and knowing you will never be fully healed. It just isn't possible when you've lost like this.
Stunned seems to be where my mind is at right now. I went through a daze today, making it a day I hadn't exactly planned for, but one that felt right with what happened. It wasn't until 9pm that I felt I could start to digest what happened.
This needs to change. There are now 53 people who don't get to live this crazy, beautiful life. And that is what hurts the most. At the end of the day, they woke up one day and were gone at the start of the next. Stolen moments. Shattered homes and families. When did society get so messed up, even though there are days where we are moving ahead in such positive strides? I don't know if we can ever know, but from this point forward, there is no reason for another's life to be stolen away from them. When are given our lives, our precious lives, we can fall into the trap of taking them for granted.
There is a part of me that wants to hold onto these fears, that wants me to succumb to their power, but I can't. We can't live our lives full of fear or shaking everything off. We need to have love, support and compassion - we need to feel, as a nation, the loss.
All we can do is love.
There are the moments for hate, but hate takes away from love. Putting love out into the universe is all we can do. Show our love for everyone affected. Show love for our nation. Show love in a way that will help us fix this and find the solution. We, as a nation, have the power to change the course of our future.
Let us do it with love.