It's been awhile. And while my first instinct is to apologize and say 'I'm sorry', I'm trying to get better about not apologizing about everything in life. On a journey of trying to focu on happiness and joy, a crucial part for me has been to stop apologizing when not necessary. So bear with me as I struggled to find the worlds to catch you up, to bring us closer together.
I've truly missed my little corner of the internet during my hiatus, but taking a step back for my mental health was far more important during the start of the year. I had intentions of sharing my word for 2016 on the blog straight away in January...but here we are in the middle of our third month of the year. The turquoise lining? I actually have evidence of how spot on I was on picking my word this year:
I will confess I had a tendency of filling up my plate, of taking on too much. Come to think of it, I was striving to be a superwoman, which I think many women can agree with. I thought I could handle it -- in a way, I thought it was what I "needed" to do. It served me pretty well throughout my 3.5 years in college, and it only felt natural to keep it going after graduating; I didn't really know anything different. And you know, it went okay for a few years. I felt this was how I was suppose to be living my life.
But then the burnout started to hit. And when it hit, it hit hard. I finally realized I needed to step back from some commitment in life. I needed to take the time to honor the rest my body was craving so so badly.
Our bodies are not designed to live through a constant state of stress and exhaustion.
And it has been, by far, my best decision of this year.
I know so many of us out there are trying to do it all. Some of it comes from the society surrounding us, while the rest seems to come from within. In my own life, I know I was just trying to put everything that made me happy into my life. And it wasn't sustainable. There may have been points where I thought I 'had it', but looking back - I didn't. When I thought everything was amazing, there were inevitably parts of life suffering. I reached a point in 2015 where I was in a severe burnout. The only thing I could muster up with my remaining energy when I came home from work was dinner before I would crash in the living room every night. As that pattern wore on, I knew I had to make a change.
It wasn't how I wanted to be living my life. As crazy and beautiful as all our lives are, there needs to be a balance to where you are still able to enjoy the small moments.
This is me telling you that you don't have to be superwoman, you don't have to do it all. There is a way to step back and simplify down your life. And you deserve it. You deserve to relish in a Sunday afternoon getting caught up in a book, in taking the time to be outside -- in doing what brings you the most joy.