Blogmas Day 24+25 / Currently: December 2015.

Merry Christmas! IMG_8826

And just like that, the official end of Blogmas is here! It has been a month I am proud of and I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store for the blog. I am planning to take the rest of December off so I can leave time to get inspired for what's to come with the TBP Blog Challenge on January 1st.

Here is a quick little Currently update for December, as promised! I've loved the consistency of these posts, so you better believe they'll be coming every month in 2016.

And remember - take time over the next couple of days to cherish the time spent with family and friends. Without them, this life wouldn't be as sweet as it is.


Current Book: Binge by Tyler Oakley. With my recent YouTube obsession has come down to reading books released by my favorite YouTubers. I've enjoyed each one of them, and Binge continues to bring a smile or a laugh to life when I need it.

Current Music: Troye Sivan. Especially the song 'Youth' from his album 'Blue Neighborhood'. The performance he delivered on Jimmy Fallon was stunning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLKkwQM7uEY

Current [Non]-Guilty Pleasure: Reading books over my lunch break. Best change I've made in my daily routine.

Current Celebration: A long weekend and spending time with family. I may have been a child that only thought Christmas was about gifts and a few family get-togethers, but oh how times have changed. This season brings so much excitement because of being able to spend time with family I don't always see often during the year.

Current Nail Color: I have a feeling this one won't make it into 2016. I'm quite certain if we were to look back at all Currently posts from 2015, not once were my nails painted. Here's to brainstorming a good replacement!

Current Drink: Spark has been a savior throughout this sleepier-than-normal month.

Current Food: There's been a slight obsession of roasted potatoes, either golden or sweet, with a little ketchup. It's been a good pairing with eggs for my breakfasts, as well as an easy carbohydrate to have in my lunch!

Current Obsession: Our new candles from Bath & Body Works, burned at the same time. I just started burning them last night, and I love it. Also, our fairy lights in the office - they bring a magical feeling to our home.

Current Wish: To see my sister and her little family very soon.

Current Need: Right now? I'm content. I can't seem to find anything in my mind that is worth putting down as a need. I have my family, my Matt, my Lumi and my friends. You really can't need anymore than that.

Current Bane of my Existence: Nada. This will be another leaving the currently posts. Makes me put focus on the negatives in life, and that's just no fun.

Current Indulgence: Can I just say this weekend? It isn't going to become a weekend of going absolutely crazy, but it will be one to enjoy. So far, homemade Oreo truffles have been the best indulgence this week. I'll get back to you on what may top it this weekend.

Current Purchase: Other than Christmas presents here and there over the last couple of weeks, and bread for the Yoki Christmas today, the purchases standing out to me are the ones becoming gifts for others. I'd post them here...but you never know who is reading!

Current Procrastination: This post, which I wanted to work on last weekend. Currently, though, getting ready for Christmas Eve at Matt's grandma's. Better get on that soon! Otherwise, I think getting our desk and buffet cleaned off. I'm hoping to use tomorrow as a day to get it all tidy.

Current Confession: I never want this long weekend to end. Being able to spend time with family, as well as have down time with Matt at home has been close to amazing.

Current Blessing: The Yoki Christmas tomorrow at my Dad's.

Current Excitement: Planning a trip to see my sister + nieces so very soon. Since they weren't able to make the trip up here this weekend, I'm hoping to head down there in a couple of weekends to have a belated Christmas celebration with them.

Current Holy Moly: A week from today (the 25th), it will be 2016!

Current Mood: So content with everything. And maybe a bit sleepy.

Current Link: Nothing to put here this month - it hasn't been a month of scrolling through articles.

Current Mantra: Believe in the Magic. Which I guess is more of a quote? My mom sent us a light up decor piece with that saying. It is definitely geared more towards the Christmas spirit, but I truly think it could be applied to every day.

Any suggestions on what to replace the current nail color and current bane of my existence with? 

Blogmas Day 22 / Monday Night Confessions for Tuesday.

Hello Tuesday! I'd bet I'm not the only sitting here on this Tuesday, just waiting for Christmas Eve. Even when the month of December seems to have flown by, the days leading up to Christmas always seem to move a bit slower than the last couple of weeks. Except when it comes to gifts. I felt I was really planned out and would have most of my shopping done with a week or so to spare, but maybe that will be the goal for Christmas 2016.

I'd figure I'd take today to share a few confessions, as normal blog inspiration seems to have disappeared for this week. I attempted yesterday to plan out for the week, but couldn't think of anything for today. I figured any day is a good day for some good ol' confessions.

The Truth Is...

+ Holidays are much harder when your mom is a good 1,000 miles away.

+ Yoki Christmas makes the holiday season a little easier.

+ The mental exhaustion now is unexplainable.

+ I wish Vitamin Shoppe would get the Birthday Cake Lenny & Larry cookies back in stock.

+ We have begun another battle with our dishes (I'm not a fan of walking into the kitchen now).

+ A lot of dreams are being work towards and I can't wait to see what 2016 brings.

+ Cookies and milk make the toughest days so much better.

+ Conversations with my mom are never brief - and I like it that way.

+ Reading has been rekindled as a love of mine.

+ ROMWOD has become the best part of my evenings.

+ I'm reaching a place of peace with my CrossFit training decision.

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What truth have you realized this week? 

Blogmas Day 21 / Christmas Survey!

And just like that, Christmas is almost here! More than any gift, I am really looking forward to being able to spend time with family over the long weekend. It has been too long since my dad's family has all been together, so I'm very excited to spend most of Saturday with them! I figured with Christmas being this week, it only seemed right to include a little Christmas survey this week.

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Favorite Christmas Movie?

Elf and the Grinch (with Jim Carrey) have always been two of my favorite movies to watch around the holidays - both of which I actually need to buy for myself. 

Favorite Christmas Song?

Carol of the Bells is one of my absolute favorites. I remember singing it in middle school choir, and it has always had a special place in my heart ever since. I actually really enjoy almost all Christmas songs, and am a total fan of the Christmas Pandora stations. 

White or Colored Lights?

I always get torn on this question! I'd have to say both? We had warm white lights on our tree last year, but since we've rearranged our furniture layout in our apartment since then, we have multi-color ones now. Overall, I really do think I prefer either the cool white or warm white. 

Real Tree, Fake Tree or No Tree?

Fake tree! We went no tree for two years, and it never made us feel like it was the holiday season. In the future, I would love to get a real tree; my dad usual has a real tree, and I always love the smell it brings to the house. 

Opening Presents - All at Once or Take Turns?

Take turns, always. I am quite certain we've never gone the other route. It made it more fun because you'd think really hard about what present you wanted to open next, but had to have a little patience as you waited for your turn. 

Stockings - Yes or No? 

Yes! This is the most memorable part of Christmas to me, opening our stockings straight away in the morning. Since my mom moved, I haven't really had one though, so Matt & I are starting a tradition of stockings for one another. 

Christmas Eve Traditions?

With separated parents, traditions ended up being swapped every other year. When with my mom, it would be her siblings at our house. A 'theme' for dinner would be decided, either traditional or Italian. We'd exchange presents with our cousins and then just enjoy each others company. After relatives left, we were allowed to open one present before bed.

If we were with my dad, it would sometimes vary. Some years we would be with his family, while others it was just "us", and we would have fun little snacks and open most of our gifts.

Christmas Day Traditions?

Depending on who we spent Christmas Eve with, we usually headed to the other parent's house during the late morning hours. Both homes were pretty similar in that we opened stockings and Santa presents. At my mom's, we would also open up our gifts from her as well.

I remember always have a special little breakfast at my dad's. And when we were really little, we would wake up super early, go down and grab our stockings and run back up into bed with our parents to open them. This is probably the most vivid childhood Christmas memory for me.

I always liked the little bit of variety between both homes!

How Did Santa Deliver Gifts?

Mom's - Santa used a different wrapping paper and put them underneath the tree.

Dad's - All divided up on the couch, either with or with a sheet over them. They were usually never wrapped. Santa brought all the super fun or special gifts.

Favorite Christmas Cookie?

Pepparkakor cookies, which are my mom's specialty. They are a swedish spice/ginger cookie, and are absolutely amazing. Which reminds me... I should probably attempt to make those soon.

Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Tie for both? I was obsessed with egg nog growing up, but after my lactose intolerance became much worse, I preferred hot chocolate. Now, with almond/soy/coconut varieties of eggnog, I'd say it's an even tie during the Christmas season.

Workout on Christmas Morning or Take the Day Off?

I think it's always been a 'take the day off' day for me, usually because of driving or just wanting to get in as much family time as possible. But considering my crazy, early wake up time, I'll probably end up doing a ROMWOD on Christmas morning.

Christmas Pajamas - Yay or Nay? 

Nay, but it is something I want to change for next year. Zoe Sugg (also known as Zoella) had some adorable Christmas pajamas during her Vlogmas this year, and I really want to embrace that from December 1st to Christmas Day next year. Guess the time to buy them would be after Christmas this year...

When I have kids, I really want to start a Christmas pajama tradition with them.

What Do You Want for Christmas this Year?

Quite honestly, I just want to be around family. And yes, I did ask for a few specific gifts this year, but none of that matters if I don't get to spend the day/weekend with people I love.

Blogmas Day 18 + 19 / Two for One.

Something I've learned about myself and blogging since beginning Blogmas: Friday and Saturday shouldn't have a place in my posting schedule. By Thursday night, my mental capacity seems to just be "done", so nothing gets scheduled for Friday. Then Friday night comes along, and my body just shuts down and sleeps, so Saturday gets skipped as well. And even when Saturday holds many more hours to work on posts, I usually find myself recharging by either watching Netflix or catching up on blogs. The struggle is real. And while I managed to get caught up with separate posts last weekend, I am deciding to combine Friday and Saturday this weekend since it just makes things a littttle easier. Plus, I want to wrap up some presents tonight.

I'd thought it would be fun to add up the days (18 + 19) and give you 37 thoughts on life or about me!

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1 / Fairy lights always make rooms more cozy.

2 / Early morning hours are my absolute favorite, especially when there is a stunning sunrise.

3 / My mom is my best friend.

4 / I easily get paralyzed because of wanting to do too much.

5 / I hope to get better at slowing down and just doing; now, it comes and goes in waves.

6 / Becoming a life/health coach is my dream and 2016 is my year to start making that reality.

7 / Christmas hasn't really been the same since my mom moved. Missing her a lot this week.

8 / The dirty dishes in our kitchen make me a little crazy.

9 / I'm a little notorious for hoarding links, and never going through them. *adds reminder to planner to go through them soon*

10 / This MacBook Pro might need  upgraded soon.

11 / Socks are one of my least favorite things in life.

12 / Almond milk hot chocolate with caramel, only from Pelican Coffee, is my new obsession.

13 / I'm terrible at remembering to cut my nails when they are long.

14 / I dream of living in Europe.

15 / Pretty much any movie with Jennifer Lawrence is my favorite - especially Silver Linings Playbook.

16 / I've started to feel a little lost at the end of this year.

17 / Sunday mornings are my favorite.

18 / Rekindling my hobby of reading has been the best change in my life.

19 / I have a bad tendency to fall asleep during movies.

20 / I'm a tad OCD and embrace it completely.

21 / Orchids are my favorite flower but I'm terrible at keeping them alive.

22 / The sound of my computer humming irritates me slightly.

23 / I never thought following YouTubers would bring so much inspiration in my life.

24 / We've had our Lumi kitty for one year and a day.

25 / I have this dream of transforming our second room into a cozy space - project for 2016?

26 / I've finally started to consciously save up for my CFL1, as well as an Upstanding Desk for our home.

27 / Minions make me smile.

28 / Right now, All I really want is a week off at home.

29 / I hope to start reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up soon.

30 / Cuddly lap kittens while typing blog posts are the best.

31 / If I could change one thing about myself, it would be being able to digest dairy again.

32 / Notebooks and pens are my weakness when shopping.

33 / I'm becoming better at living with the little bits of clutter.

34 / Sleep has been the most dramatic change for me this year, and I couldn't be happier.

35 / I get an odd satisfaction after fully using a product - shampoo, soap, coconut oil, etc.

36 / I love being left-handed.

37 / Becoming more positive over the last year has been one of my best accomplishments.

 

Blogmas Day 17 / Thinking Out Loud #9

The sleepiness is so strong tonight, so I'm going to attempt to keep this intro short and get right into the thoughts. I planning to get in my ROMWOD session and head to bed. I've made some adjustments in my daily routine, and it has led to reduced stress and increased happiness. Anyways - now on to the thoughts... Thinking-Out-Loud2

[ Thanks for hosting Amanda! ]

1 - With my back being a little off since last week, I've taken it easy for WODs this week in between going to my chiropractor. It's amazing what a little deep tissue massage and a few adjustments can do. My goal is to have an appointment for every month so I don't have any more days/weeks like this. I took rest days on Monday and Wednesday, and both felt so glorious. New plan after talking with my chiro? Monthly appointments to keep everything in check. Is it nerdy to be excited about that?

2 - Duluth finally gave us some snow today, more than halfway through December (by a day)! I hadn't realized how bleak it had been outside until there was a blanket of white snow - a little bit of beauty has finally been restored.

3 - On the topic of snow, I finally went out for a caramel hot chocolate. The day of our first big snow felt like the perfect day for a treat after work. It was from Starbucks, and certainly satisfied the craving, but it didn't compare to the caramel hot cocoa I had at Pelican Coffee. Looks like another coffee date is in my future.

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4 - Seriously counting down the days until Friday after work. After an unusual and abnormal weekend (for me) I need another to recharge. And with our Christmas social tomorrow at work, I know I'll need just a little extra rest as. I'm looking forward to: blogging, watching movies, organizing, and finishing up my Christmas game plan. Better late than ever on the present part, right? Oh - and we may or may not being going to Star Wars: The Force Awakens on Sunday at 8am.

5 - My momma sent me the most amazing early Christmas present. When I read the email from Starbucks about the Dot Local Collection for 2016, seeing the special tumbler for Florida jumped out at me. It immediately made me think of my momma. The bright colors seemed so fitting, as she is one person that helps me find my way back to the bright things in life when I am down. As my mom said "It totally is you".

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Share a thought - any thought!

Blogmas Day 16 / Sleep It Off.

Seems fitting to write about sleep after this last weekend. After two extremely late nights for me (1am on Friday and 2am on Saturday), it seems fitting to elaborate how sleep has changed for me over the last few months. In case you didn't know, insomnia used to have a regular part of my week for the first 4-5 months of 2015. Although it was once, maybe twice a week, it still was enough to throw my schedule off. I always tried to stay positive and find the silver linings, but having to take another rest day (because doing a WOD on 3 hours of sleep would be a little crazy) or feeling completely drained at work, sometimes finding the positivity didn't always have the power to think of insomnia as "okay". It just ended up being one of those little things in life that you get a little upset about, something to just accept in that moment, with the knowledge that the next day/night will be better.

But by putting all my focus on trying to improve my sleep hygiene and nighttime regime before bed, I found the resolution to my insomnia issue. Here's what has become my new normal to get the sleep I need:

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Pure Pharma // When researching insomnia, and trying to find solutions, I read about magnesium deficiency and the connect it has to the insomnia I had experienced. And with plenty of options through supplement stores, I couldn't seem to bite the bullet on purchasing one. That was until I was in Minneapolis for the CrossFit Central Regionals. Pure Pharma happened to have a vendor spot, and I took the opportunity to learn about their magnesium supplement, M3. I was completely convinced it would be life changing - and it has been. From just the first night, and into the first week, first month and up until now, this has been the biggest change when it comes to getting better sleep.

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Caffeine Limit // There have been plenty of learning moments in the past when it comes to me and consuming coffee too late in the day. For me, caffeine after noon is something my body just can't handle. Spark is the only form of caffeine I've found to have the right balance of getting me through the afternoon, while still allowing me to go to bed at night. If I do get a (rare) coffee craving, I either have it straight away in the morning or leave it as a treat for Saturdays. Since we usually don't have plans for Sunday morning, I am able to sleep in if I can't fall asleep.

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Reading // Perhaps one of the best habits I've picked back up. The drowsiness of reading only a couple of pages does wonders on getting me to fall asleep quickly, and gets my brain to stop thinking about either falling asleep or what needs accomplishing the next day.

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Tidying Up // Note - This is never full-on cleaning our apartment. It is simply taking 10-15 minutes to tidy up, which is mostly in the living room. I've found having this place tidy brings some peace right before bed and is totally worth the extra effort before bed. I also make sure to remove any clutter in our bedroom as well, as it has a tendency to make me a little more anxious. I'm grateful for our tiny bedroom, as it has mostly avoided becoming a cluttered space for us.

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5 Things // A few weeks ago, I took up the challenge of finding 5 things I am grateful for at the end of the day. Right before I start reading + falling asleep, I try to make sure to quickly type up my five pieces of gratitude for the day. This really makes me realize how blessed I am for my crazy + beautiful life, and helps me to put happiness and positivity into days that have me down.

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As of lately, these steps have helped me create a sleep routine that suits me, and helps me to get the best night of sleep every night. I used to shake off the importance of sleep, but have since realized the impact it has on so much of my life. CrossFit, work, relationships and my happiness need me as the best version of myself. And sleep will always continue as a cornerstone in making those pillars happen in my life.

 

What does your nighttime routine look like?

How do you cope with sleepless nights? 

Have you considered adding in a supplement, like magnesium, to improve your sleep quality? 

Blogmas Day 15 / Be The Light.

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[ origin / ROMWOD Instagram]

The biggest dream I have for myself is to become a coach, one who holds experience in coaching both health and life. I dream of being able to help others push through their negativity and find the positivity they certain hold within. It just takes realize it's there, and that they have the power to put their focus on the positives, instead of letting negativity take control of their thoughts.

When people have asked me why I want to become a coach, the usual answer goes along the lines of wanting to help others, and wanting to help them make positive change in their lives. I had wished there was a better way of saying it, a way to explain the complexity in being a support for someone.

Finding this quote brought all my thoughts full circle.

 It encompasses what I want my work to involve, what I want to represent as a coach. I want to help build others up and show them the amazing light they carry into this world each and every day. My hope is to teach them how to remove their insecurities one by one, and find ways to show them how worthy they are of having an enjoyable life that brings them joy.

If there is anything worth working for in 2016, it is bringing myself closer to become the coach I dream of being. It means taking leaps into the voids that scare me, and conquering the fears that sometimes paralyze my actions. It means taking steps and finding resolutions to whatever is holding me back.

Life is too damn short to live behind a curtain of fear.

Blogmas Day 14 / Win Some, Lose Some.

After a packed weekend and a late start to my Sunday, I didn't have the chance to get as much done behind-the-blog as I had wanted. But, as the title clearly states - you win some, you lose some. Except I don't see it as losing. It just means life was being lived, which I sometimes forget is the most amazing part of being human. As I sit here on Monday night, trying to get a mini-post up for Day 14, I'm already planned out for the rest of the week. How I managed to get 3 posts ready to go, and get a head start on my ToL for Thursday, seems to be surprising me. At the same time, I'm not all that surprised. I've started to develop a passion for the writing I share and the consistent blogging is teaching me to follow what makes me most happy.

Honestly, that's pretty much it for what I have to share. I'm about to take off my makeup, eating a small snack and get some ROMWOD on before heading into bed. I'm in such a good place in Still Alice, so I'm hoping to make it through a few pages before falling asleep tonight.

I hope you had a week filled with little things that made you happy, and that you continue to find happiness throughout this week.

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Because I know one morning of my week will involve this beautiful almond milk caramel hot chocolate.

 

What was your last 'win some, lose some' moment?

Blogmas Day 13 / Late on Sunday Night.

It's 11:04pm, which means I technically have about 56 minutes to officially get this post done for it not to be late. We will see how this goes.

And this is the first time during Blogmas I have reached a blank when I've started to add a new post. Maybe it's because my back is bugging me, or because I put a lot of energy into food prepping, but I'm finding myself quite exhausted on this Sunday night.

Being a smart athlete, I'm planning to start ROMWOD in the morning, see my chiro after work and get back after it in the gym come Tuesday. I sometimes find it hard to rest, but have become better realizing the benefit a rest day can have - not just on the body, but on the mind as well. I'm already planning out a little bit of my morning so I can have proper time to enjoy it before I head off to work.

After two later-than-normal nights on Friday and Saturday, I think my body is just a little screwed up in regards to knowing when to get ready for sleep. There used to be a time in life where I would get so upset about this, but really, what is that worth? Will it matter in five years that I didn't go to bed early on this one Sunday night?

Probably not.

I know have the mindset to own it, and to really search for its silver lining. In this situation, it allowed me to watch The Day Kennedy Died with Matt and to put some time into the blog and sorting my emails.

Other than feeling I crammed a lot of prep into my evening instead of relaxing, today was a wonderful day. I was able to sleep in a little, spent the morning watching YouTube, and the afternoon just hanging out with Matt. We even managed to get groceries, which we sometimes push to Monday because leaving the house on Sundays is hard. I'm looking forward to next weekend, as it will allow more time for much needed relaxation in preparation for the longer Christmas weekend.

As for the week ahead? Lots of smart rest for my back and more time on the blog. And, as always staying positive and happy. Can't let the negativity get you down. My eyes are now getting sleeping, and sentences are starting to not really make much sense, so I'd say it's time to sign off. Thanks for reading this randomness. Tomorrow should start with more normal programming that should follow the entire week.

 

Blogmas Day 12 / How Do You...

Is it weird to be coming back oh-so-soon for a post, since I just chatted a bit with you around noon? I hope not. As easy as it would have been to just bundle up three days into one post, that wasn't my intention when starting out on this Blogmas journey. I wanted the challenge of getting a post up every day until Christmas, and this is the only way it can truly be done. Awhile back, Duluth Pack posted being desk side with some of the key players in their business. I loved the quirky little survey questions, and it had me thinking about what gets me motivated on my way of doing "work" with my blog and life. And if you are wondering what fuels me when it comes to getting things done, a chocolate mint Clif Builder paired with chilled vanilla almond milk is pretty much amazing for some blogging energy.

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How Do You...

Start Your Morning? On non-CrossFit days, I usually start my day with my tumbler of water, a class of Spark, and kitten snuggles. Then it's checking emails and watching YouTube for happiness and inspiration.

Stay Motivated? I think when you have a passion for what you do, and knowing the happiness it brings to your life, it just comes. There are days where it is hard, and usually I will take a break from trying to create.  As I move towards bigger goals, it then becomes more about wanting to build something amazing to share with the world.

Get Inspired? By reading articles that relate to what I'm most passionate about; Reading blog posts of inspiring women (sometimes one word they say can spark an entire post!); Watching YouTubers that have built up their lives by completely following their dreams.

Challenge Yourself? The biggest way I can challenge myself is by not letting my fears take over my life, and finding ways to live those fears to create a stronger me.

Motivate Others? This doesn't completely pertain to my own blogging, but in regards to some of my blends (bloggers-turned-friends), I believe by supporting them, it can certainly help them stay motivated to continue creating content.

Find Personal Balance? By far, the hardest part of blogging for me, but I believe I am getting better! By blocking out time to work on blog stuff, it helps me fill in those other blogs with what I need to do to stay balanced in life. Whether this means watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix, taking a cookie + almond milk break, or even doing chores, I feel more balanced. Plus, a lot of inspiration and ideas can come in those moments.

Stay Organized? For Blogmas this year, I printed out a calendar of December to keep track of post ideas and when I wanted to get them up. For the rest of the year, I really rely on my planner to get posts up (when I've been able to do a few consistently). In the new year, I am really hoping to put my GTWB (#getttoworkbook) to work, as well as learn more during the TBP Blog Challenge!

End Your Day? I take my Pure Pharma M3, type out five things I am grateful for on my Notes app, set my alarm for the next day and then read. The reading is the most crucial; it has been helping me to fall asleep much easier after so many bouts of insomnia a couple of months ago.

Blogmas Day 11 / Gratitude of the Past // February 2012

Sincerest of apologies for the delay in my Blogmas posts since Friday. I failed to plan any posts out for what became a busy weekend. My goal for today? Get next Friday and Saturday's posts planned out so I don't have to worry when the weekend becomes busier. I felt awesome about being so ready for Monday through Thursday - and then all was lost for the weekend. I wanted to get two posts up this morning/early afternoon, and will be back on schedule this evening with my final post to get me caught up. And while my draft bin is full, there are only a few posts I am able to immediately get ready. I loved finding an old notebook I had used for a gratitude journal back in 2012; it made me think back to what life was like then, and how life has changed in some ways. I am actually planning on starting another one up for 2016 after being challenged to find 5 things I am grateful for right before Thanksgiving. I've kept up with it on my Notes app, but want to transition back over to a small notebook in the new year.

I hope you enjoy!

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2.1.12

  1. A new beginning.
  2. Being able to become closer to my dad.
  3. My health & the health of Matt.

2.2.12

  1. Coffee dates with close friends.
  2. A clean & tidy apartment.
  3. Watching Star Wars with Matt. =)

2.3.12

  1. Having the time to read books that I enjoy.
  2. Late night dinners at Pizza Luce.
  3. My amazing oGorgeous bag from Matthew.

2.4.12

  1. Cold Stone tip money.
  2. Great friends.
  3. MOM.

2.5.12

  1. Having Matt's arm around me and a shoulder to lean on.
  2. Spaghetti dinners with Matt.
  3. Becoming closer with Kim & Chelsey.

2.6.12

  1. Feeling better and working out again.
  2. Matt helping me while I am sick.
  3. An ice cream for all the hard work.

2.7.12

  1. Crazy dance moves with Matthew.
  2. Banana bread.
  3. UMD and all of the opportunities it has to offer.

2.8.12

  1. My loan money that keeps me safe and secure.
  2. The smell of Matt.
  3. The food in my fridge.

2.9.12

  1. Leftovers.
  2. Good laughs with Attitudes girls.
  3. Hot chocolate.

2.10.12

  1. Cold Stone vent sessions in the backroom.
  2. Enjoying Star Wars with my Matt.
  3. The Brewhouse. <3

2.11.12

  1. Morning snuggles with Matt.
  2. My peacock phone case!
  3. Having friends over at our apartment.

2.12.12

  1. Matt & I's little messenger mailbox.
  2. Coming home to clean dishes.
  3. Breaking Dawn! <3

2.13.12

  1. My Matthew - for driving me around and buying me a meal.
  2. The taste of amazing water.
  3. Finding my peacock phone holder.

2.14.12

  1. BOGO at Caribou! And going there with a close friend.
  2. Errands excursions with Matt.
  3. A night of amazing pizza and hot cocoa.

2.15.12

  1. For 20 healthy years of my life.
  2. All of the happy wishes I've received from friends and family.
  3. To the small celebrations that are to come.

2.16.12

  1. Great jokes and laughs at Attitudes.
  2. Mint ice cream at Cold Stone.
  3. Chocolate. Covered. Strawberries.

2.17.12

  1. Days off with Matthew.
  2. My homemade birthday cake.
  3. Bed conversations with M.

2.18.12

  1. Homemade crepes.
  2. A fantastic food spread from the Great American Place - The Duluth Grill.
  3. Breaking Dawn, part 1! =)

2.19.12

  1. My amazing birthday gifts from Matt.
  2. Leftovers! (pizza + Duluth Grill)
  3. My daily blog readings.

2.20.12

  1. Another homemade, AMAZING spaghetti dinner.
  2. New pictures of M & myself.
  3. A week off of teaching.

2.21.12

  1. The healthy food I am able to consume.
  2. My motivation for productivity.
  3. A hot shower after a killer Jillian Michaels workout.

2.22.12

  1. Spending time with my mom.
  2. Having Jade in my life.
  3. My healthy tears.

2.23.12

  1. Hot cocoa with marshmallows.
  2. Amazing YouTube videos of singers.
  3. A good run. =)

2.24.12

  1. Mornings with Matt.
  2. Banana Nut Cheerios.
  3. Movie Night! Complete with candy & popcorn.

2.25.12

  1. Being able to sleep in.
  2. Satisfaction of a clean(er) apartment.
  3. Yummy toast.

2.26.12

  1. Dance. Central. Two. =)
  2. Pizza picnic.
  3. Snow.

2.27.12

  1. The people I work with at Cold Stone.
  2. A comfy bed.
  3. The snuggles I get from Matt before bed.

2.28.12

  1. The nights Matt stays in.
  2. Knowing the night will come fast enough.
  3. That my dreams aren't reality.

2.29.12

  1. A UMD snow day.
  2. A good night's sleep with no bad dreams.
  3. Getting my hair done by the one and only Dereck.

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Three things you are grateful for on this Sunday! 

Blogmas Day 10 / Thinking Out Loud #8

Can someone please explain to me why last tonight feels like a Friday? Seriously. I don't know what happened at the start of this week for life to get so thrown off. By 10pm, I'm usually either fast asleep or definitely getting droopy eyes whilst lying in bed. Not the case last night. I was wide awake - and totally owning it. Since today is my rest day, going to bed early wasn't as crucial as on the days when I have to wake up at 4:35am. But let's get right to it - no reason to delay any longer! Thinking-Out-Loud2

[Thanks for hosting Amanda!]

1 - I'm not one to make lofty New Year's resolutions, with the reason being I become completely discouraged when I don't carry out exactly what I had planned out. And while wasting my energy on being upset, I'm missing what is happening around me, and, more importantly, living in the present and being content with who I am as I am. Instead, I pick a word to build and live my year around. I think I've finally decided on my word for 2016, and I can't wait to share it with you on January 1st!

2 - Sleep has been a little odd this week. Even though I'm getting around 7 hours each night (despite waking up at 4:35am), I can't seem to shake the sleep out of my system. You know how baby's go through sleep regression early on? I feel like my body is having its own little regression this week, and not giving me the rest I would like to feel at the gym in the morning. I'm hoping by having a rest day today, it might level out my sleep a little. [update: I don't really think it did...]

3 - This Saturday, CrossFit Aerial (my gym!) is hosting Sam & Jenn Dancer for a SAMINAR! I'm beyond excited to spend six hours with them, and not just for learning how to move better, but to also learn more about just living better. After hearing Sam on the Girls Gone WOD Podcast a few weeks ago, I can't wait to hear him talk in person.

4 - Never been one to get done with my Christmas shopping early, but it certainly looks like that will be happening this year! I definitely need to keep in mind next year to get ready to do a lot of it over the weekend following Thanksgiving. [ link! ]

5 - Honestly, who would've thought by accepting the challenge of Blogmas this year, it would actually spark more inspiration for writing more than ever? I am thoroughly enjoying getting posts ready for the future. And while I could share them during the next 14 days, some of these posts deserve their own light, instead of sharing the spotlight with Blogmas.

6 - Another update from the blog side of life: I am joining in for TBP Blog Challenge 2016 [join in here]...and I CANNOT wait. While both of these challenges have brought up some fear in me, by jumping in and doing them, I am surprising myself. I just have to realize my confidence and own it.

7 - And here is me leaving. I'm hoping to tidy up our apartment before getting ready and heading off to work for the day. A little clutter doesn't really bother me too much, but it has gotten to the point where it is everywhere and, truth be told, it is making me a little anxious. So let's get about remedying that! See you tomorrow my friends!

 

What sort of plans do you have this weekend? 

Are you feeling the effects of an off-week this week? 

The New Year - do you make resolutions or focus on one word all year? 

Blogmas Day 9 / These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things!

This week is playing some hardcore games with my mind. You usually have a feeling it'll be a struggling sort of week when you think tomorrow is Thursday, and it's only Wednesday. The good news? The darn Tuesday is out of the way. Anyways - still going strong with my survey plan for the week. I still am going to manage to put a ToL post out tomorrow, so there's an opportunity to just brain dump whatever is on my mind. For today, there really is nothing like a simple compilation of all my favorite things. As I went through this list, I even found myself having to stop and think since the answers didn't always come to mind right away. [Thanks Riley for sharing this idea!] IMG_6414

Place / Anywhere on the Lakewalk in Duluth.

Person / My momma.

Color / Turquoise (obviously).

Food / Real food: sweet potatoes. Not-so-real-food: Clif builder bars.

Smell / Clinque Happy - always reminds me of my momma.

Book / The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Movie / Silver Linings Playbook.

Music Artist / Adele + Jack's Mannequin.

Genre of Music / Songwriter. Alternative. Pop.

Genre of Literature / Realistic Fiction.

Magazine / Real Simple.

Texture / Lumi's fur.

Time of Day / Early morning.

Day of the Week / Sunday.

Blog / So hard to pick just one - I'd have to say...Anna Saccone.

Things to do when Bored / Organize. Read blogs. Catch up on YouTube.

Celebrity / Jennifer Lawrence.

Drink / Water or Spark.

Precious Stone / Pearl and amethyst.

Animal / Pandas and turtles...and Lumi kitty.

Flower / Orchid.

Time in History / I truly like to just learn about it all.

Font / My handwriting.

TV Show / Pretty Little Liars + Gilmore Girls + Gossip Girl.

Play / I really liked Twelve Angry Men when we read through it in school.

Musical / Rent.

Fruit / Pears.

Vegetable / Broccoli.

Store / Express.

Article of Clothing You Own / My cozy grey Merona sweater.

Fashion [or] Style / Simple. Classic. Comfortable.

Workout / CrossFit.

Quote / Positive Vibes Only.

Historical Figure / JFK comes to mind.

Boy’s Name / Henry.

Girl’s Name / Kensington.

Ice Cream Flavor / Mint.

Season / Fall.

Month of the Year / October.

Memory / Daycare.

Dessert / Gelato (totally worth the tummy ache).

Language / French always sounds so beautiful.

Things to Learn About / Health and nutrition.

Thing About Yourself / Positivity.

 

Take five of the above and tell me YOUR favorites! 

Blogmas Day 8 / Would You Rather...

It's official - I'm taking the (slightly) easier route in blogging this week. The plan? To finally do all the survey-esque posts sitting in my drafts folder and fill them out for you. I had planned on compiling some of my more thoughtful posts for this week, but when other plans came up this weekend, I didn't have as much time to sit down and plan out the week. So here's to getting all of these fun posts ready ASAP, so I can delve into some deeper thought for next week's posts. IMG_8680

On a side note: Have you ever thought of how crazy it is that we can change our thinking? In the past, I would have become so upset with myself for not planning/making time for scheduling blog content. Because if life didn't go exactly how I thought it should, I should get super upset; I'm pretty sure Past Kelsey would have followed this route. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't (and isn't) the end of the world.

So as Current Kelsey, I'm taking this poor planning moment to publish the drafts sitting dormant since spring. Now if that isn't a positive spin on life - I don't know what is! Today's "Would You Rather" is courtesy of one of my blends, Allie.

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1. Sweat for 20 minutes daily or do 3 hour-long session each week?

20-minutes daily. I've come to know myself enough that being able to get in a WOD in the morning helps me set up my days so much better. If I only had that chance three days a week, my mental state might not be in such a relaxed or positive state. It's interesting to think back to the beginning of my healthy lifestyle journey. If this question had been asked during this time, I would have, without a doubt, picked the hour-long sessions - because, more calories burned. Thankfully, this isn't what healthy is to me anymore.

2. Whip up a meal or have someone cook for you?

Someone cook for me. Even though I have no issue cooking my own meals, I've always said a personal chef would be kind of amazing to have. You'd be able to get any meal you desired, and wouldn't have to worry if you were cooking it right (part of the reason we don't eat much fish/seafood in our home.) And, no one said I couldn't help out if I wanted...

3. Take an active vacay or zen out?

During this season of life, I would choose zen out. I've had both in some respects, but just imagining a full vacation of complete relaxation sounds much more glorious than consistently being active and doing WODs most days. I imagine being in a lodge-setting in Colorado during the fall, and being able to just ease through my days.

4. Reflect on the past or look forward to conquering the future?

Look forward to conquering the future. Always. Reflect on the past puts me in such a negative mindset and is a big contributor to my feelings of depression. And while looking to the future can bring up anxiety for me, I've somehow managed a way to not let that always happen. We obviously don't have control on what becomes our past and some of the events that happen in our future, but I believe we have a little more control on the decisions we make, and how they can affect our future. What we decide today will impact our future - we just have to decide if we want it to be positive or negative.

Take one of the four questions from above and give me your response! 

Blogmas Day 7 / Today I Am...

Good morning & happy Monday!

IMG_8747

Such a beautiful sunrise this past Saturday!

After a weekend of mostly relaxing, with a touch of food prep and errands, I didn't managed to get as much done for the blog this week as I would like. So instead of stressing about my Monday post for day 7 of Blogmas 2015, I figured a little fill-in-the-blank survey would be quite fun. I have a few of these sitting in my drafts, and while I know my 'currently' post follows a similar format, my plan is to keep these answers a little more brief. This particular one is from one of my good blends, Julianna!

And I just realized I haven't done a currently post for December - blogger fail. December might be the month to wait until closer to Christmas, since my answers may change-up more than normal.

Anyways, today I am...

Excited About: A coffee date Matt and I have planned for next weekend.

Loving: My evenings off.

Reading: Still Alice. 

Sipping: Unsweetened almond milk (with gluten- and dairy-free cookies!)

Dreaming About: Building this blog and becoming a health/life coach.

Oogling: Over mala beads and a new wardrobe. 

Wondering: What the WOD will be for tomorrow morning.

Loving: My new habit of no phone during my lunch breaks and book instead.

Wishing I Was Watching: YouTube on loop - so many videos during vlogmas!

Thinking About: How the week will go. 

Wanting to Make: Plans for a mother-daughter trip. 

Looking Forward To: A few long weekends to come! 

 

Comment below with your happenings on this Monday! 

 

Blogmas Day 6 / Sleepless Thoughts.

IMG_8732 Once upon a time, I was horrible about sleep. It wasn't until I took some big steps towards my sleep hygiene that it started to change. After reading article upon article about how to 'sleep better', one idea stuck right from the get go: keeping a notebook on your nightstand. Hear me out:

Sometimes, my brain doesn't shut off. It's either all worked up on something that happened during the day, or is obsessing about what needs to be done or remembered the next day. The handy notebook trick allows me to spit out all of those thoughts so I can actually fall asleep. Most days, it's usually just a list of things I'd like to get done, food to bring to work, or if I'm heading on a trip soon, items I need to fall on my packing list.

But every once in a while, little gems find their way into that notebook. Little quotes I want to remember, or a mantra that may help in the future when the swirling thoughts won't leave. And because I'm in the midst of trying to simplify our apartment, why not share those little bits of wisdom with you? So without further ado...

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Your journey is amazing. Keep remembering that. It is uniquely you, which makes it the most amazing.

Enjoy this life. Enjoy every beautiful moment you are blessed with. Stop comparing your moments and milestones with others.

Be content.

Take the time to read. To enjoy Netflix. To cuddle with your kitten. To spend time with your friends. To share stories and struggles with others.

 

Accept it. This is part of living with anxiety.

You are okay. You can work through this.

Stop the comparisons. You are enough. Always.

Be happy with however your days pan out.

Become who you know you can be.

Be present in yourself.

Be you and be fearless.

Make yourself bulletproof.

 

Don't let your mind overpower you -- YOU are in control, my dear.

 

Remember - it is the work you put in. [Bob Harper]

 

You have it all under control; let your mind rest and reset in the hours to come.

The day will be ready when you wake up.

The lists will resume once you start the new day.

 

Love yourself.

Because - YOU FREAKIN' GOT THIS.

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While these may seem cheesy to some, it is sometimes the simplest of thoughts to get us through the hard moments in life. My hope is that you've enjoyed at least one of these little sayings, and maybe one rang so true in your life right now it will become a daily mantra.

You never realize how strong the words you say to yourself are - you just have to believe in their positivity.

Blogmas Day 5 / Oops.

The whole staying on top of posts was going fantastic for Blogmas - until Saturday hit and I didn't realize I hadn't published anything before heading off to bed. Oops. So instead of taking the easy route, and publishing one post to cover this weekend, I figured I'd just put two posts up today! Because why not. It's the weekend, and at least for now, it seems there is so much time left in the day.

The plan for this post? Set a timer and just quickly type whatever comes to mind. I have a feeling it might not be the best post I put out there, but the challenge is very welcomed, as I don't have any drafts ready to go and figured this might be the quickest way for a post to get up this morning. I'll plan to publish the pre-planned Blogmas post this afternoon to get me caught up. So without further ado...

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Timer Length: 15 minutes

GO!

Considering my MacBook battery seems to be poorly, we'll see if she can last just a little while longer for me to get this post written up, edited (slightly) and off to being published to the blog. I mean, 25% should (realistically) last for 15 minutes...

But you never know! Especially when your Mac is almost 5 years old.

Weekends are a little odd in how they seem to fly by, which could most likely be contributed to the fact you are filling up the day with relaxing and little activities you enjoy doing. Just right before I headed off to bed last night, Matt and I were talking about how could it be Sunday tomorrow?! And just before we know it, it will be Monday morning. I think we've both been pretty good about balancing out our weekends lately with getting things done, as well as taking the time to sleep in and relax as well.

For some reason, my mind is ahead of itself in regards to time. I keep on thinking it is early afternoon, when it is actually still late morning. The best part about this happening? I feel like I still have so much of the day left AND I've already gotten some of our chores out-of-the-way! 2 out of 4 loads of laundry done, as well as about...85% of our dirty dishes & pans.

I still have to convince Matt to get groceries later on, but I can usually make that happen when I say "I've already got the list ready AND I planned lots of dinners with leftovers; we'll be in and out in under an hour". So I guess my next plan of action after finishing up this post is to actually make a list and get our dinners in order for the week ahead.

Wanting coffee last night could roll over into today, and I wouldn't be terribly disappointed. And while I don't think I'd be getting coffee...a hot cocoa sounds even better for me now. Welp. Looks like I may have to make that happen now.

Lumi just walked across the keyboard, and managed to mess with the brightness of the screen, mute the speakers AND open iTunes. Must be nice to just jaunt across a keyboard. Mind you, this was after saving her from her sad meows from in the sink...where nothing was happening to her? I can understand the meows when she gets herself stuck in an odd place. Exhibit A - When she jumped on the radiator in our bathroom, and got her front paws on the windowsill...and didn't exactly know the safest way to get down. I do like to think she sometimes just wants a little extra attention and cuddles. Which is probably highly unlikely in the cuddle department since we have a tendency of picking her up a bit...oh well - we like to think she takes it as how much we love her.

Our little Christmas tree has been up since December 1st, but still has yet to be fully decorated. We had to invest in some battery-powered lights, and managed to only buy one box. Let's just say it looks a little silly with one strand of lights. Plan is to get more this week/next weekend. In the meantime, it has still managed to make our living room feel a little more Christmasy. Just waiting for the day to have our own house and be able to decorate a touch more than we do now.

And would you look at that - a minute and thirty seconds left, and I've managed to put together a decent length post. Also, I have to apologize again for the lack of photos recently. The new update to Photos on the new Mac operating system doesn't exactly make it easy anymore to get photos organized.

That's it! The timer is buzzing - thanks for reading through such a random post!

Blogmas Day 4 / And Then My Mind Felt Crazy...

Have you ever had those weeks where your mind feels like mush and the biggest challenge of the day can be what you are going to have for breakfast and the shoes you want to wear to work? I'm here to let you know it happens to me more than I'd like, but I'm slowly finding ways to make it through those tough spots and figuring out what works for me. #youdoyou. Things have certainly gotten better over the past few weeks/months, and while I'm currently living life without the mental mush, these words are still very relevant. If they have the power to help someone in need, then I can't help but to share them with you. 

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Foundation of post was started back in July. More thoughts found their way in August & October. Final touches were added before the post was published in December. 

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This was me a few weeks ago. And on a scale from 1 to 10 for mental mush, I would definitely have put myself at an 11 (no joke).

The mental mush has disappeared (for now) and I am certainly feeling more like myself. You'd almost expect me to say it just went away...but it isn't easy. I am learning more about my mental health each and every day, and I am starting to realize I have to make certain decisions throughout my week to lessen the probability of Mental Mush 2.0 happening this year or in 2016.

I found I had to step back away from the gym for a week. I had to not schedule anything for my weekends. I had to let go of my planner tendencies for a week; this actually ended up being a couple of months. Most importantly, I just had to honor what I know would help me reach my normal self and a normal level of happiness. If you told me I needed to type up a post and publish it during this time, I don't know if I would have been able to make it happen.

I am also starting to honor the thought of getting back into therapy. With only having a true diagnosis for depression, I am hoping to get a response on anxiety as well. I have no shame talking about it, but want to have the evidence for myself that it is truly anxiety. Finding this article from the Hello Giggles site has helped me solidify the thought on my own. I know I have heard similar phrases from those around me, which can spark a case of anxiety right away or adds on to anxiety I may already be feeling. Plus, having the ability to go and talk with someone not directly involved in my everyday life sounds more than glorious.

I'll admit - the anxious feelings are still there. And I'm still taking steps every day to deal with those anxious moments. A few things that have helped me:

Taking a week off from CrossFit.

Stepping back from training.

Blogging.

Reading books of any type, but mostly self-help/inspiration or a good fictional story.

Organizing chaos.

Tending to little chores, like dishes or tidying up our living room.

Starting my 5-year Q&A book.

Honoring cravings, no matter what.

Spend time with Matthew and Lumi.

Repeat "positive vibes only" as needed.

Watching the Saccone-Joly's (all 3 channels) and Zoella.

Putting my phone in the other room.

I am finding that focusing on the small things in life has helped so much. And really, most of them are somewhat "free". I found myself so sick of relying on the world around me to find happiness or a reprieve from the anxious feelings I experienced day-to-day. It took just looking at me in the mirror, and asking "What makes you most happy in this moment?" and going along with it. I am slowing learning to live with both my depression and anxiety in a way that works for me. I am finding confidence in making decisions to benefit my life, which in turn, benefits the lives of those around me. There is nothing more in life that I want to help someone else find themselves in this crazy beautiful life.

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No questions - just your beautiful thoughts. <3

 

Blogmas Day 3 / Thinking Out Loud #7

Quite a few numbers to round out a title, eh? Wanted to keep things mentally organized for myself and for the blog. Trust me - it will always be better this way. Oh, and I apologize for the random/lack of photos in these posts. Something goofy is going on between MacBook and iPhone, which I'm planning to resolve this weekend. In the meantime, I'll work with what I've got! But without further ado, lets just get to the thinking out loud. Don't want to waste any good thoughts in the intro! If this sounds foreign to you, go and visit Miss Spoons' blog for a little update on what ToL is all about.

Thinking-Out-Loud2

1 - Blogmas is going amazing. Yes, it's only day 3,  but considering I'm planned out until midweek of next week, I think I'm doing well. I honestly think my mind just needed a little challenge to actually follow through on finishing drafts of posts.

2 - Sometimes it takes being without heat for almost 24 hours for you to really appreciate how amazing it is. After our apartment turned into an icebox on Monday night, it was glorious to come home after work Tuesday to a warm home. Even Matt commented how lovely it is to come home to the warmth.

3 - Wednesday morning I woke up right at 4am. Which I guess was a bit of a blessing, since I didn't set my alarm if I had wanted to head to the gym. After falling asleep in our living room for about four hours, and then heading to bed for another four, my mind was just ready to wake up. So I did - and got a lot done. I caught up on YouTube while meal prepping, washed dishes and managed to tidy up a little as well!

4 - I have somehow been able to find energy after work, when in the past, I would just collapse into a sleepy heap on the comfy bench in our living room. I don't know if it is a change in mindset, with the knowledge that I can do what I put my mind to, but it is greatly appreciated. Certainly hoping it lasts through the rest of the week!

5 - Something really has gotten me into the spirit of Christmas, and I spent a good 10 minutes after work today looking for a Christmasy phone case - Casetify might be seeing some business from me in the future.

6 - While still staying on the Christmas thought, I've been really good about wrapping each present right away when I get it. I used to wait until the last-minute, and it always gave me a little anxiety and a lot of dread. But considering it takes less than five minutes in most cases to wrap a present, I've been rolling with that. Plus, it will make our Christmas tree look more festive...once I buy some battery-operated lights. Let me tell you, it is sometimes rough living in an older home. One outlet per room just doesn't cut it for the 21st century!

7 - I could use a stay-cation right now. Some people dream of vacation in the tropics, or at least in a new place, but I'd be perfectly content to spend 10 days at home, just relaxing and doing what makes me über happy. Maybe this will be one of my goals for 2016 - even though I stopped making New Year's resolutions a couple years ago...

 

How do you deal with your Christmas presents - right away or later; wrapping paper or gift bags? 

If you had to choose right at this moment - staycation or vacation? 

Have you ever woken up at a crazy, early time and felt über productive? 

 

 

Blogmas Day 2 / Let It All Flow.

I think many of us go through life, waiting on or working towards making shifts; whether those are in our work or personal lives, or some down to shifting habits, I think of them as pretty similar. Being someone who loves a little change, and finds herself always striving to make new habits, I am usually actively working on something. And it is never stressful changes - when that happens, I immediately know to take a step back and refocus on what I'm trying to carry out.

But when a shift happens on its own, and the next day feels completely different from yesterday, it is sometimes a little harder when it comes to fully understanding this new shift in life. And yes, sometimes we may never have full understanding; but being able to grasp for something helps with settling in the long run.

And recently, this is exactly what happened for me.

When the opportunity came about to become a part of the comp training at my gym, I was so excited. I was ready to make this commitment and hopefully begin to balance a new schedule with ease. But, when this wasn't the case after a week or so, it came down to evaluating with a coach about how to better fit the training around work, and around my non-gym non-work time. And we did.

But it still didn't feel right.

I honestly felt a little crazy, and continued to take it through with Matt and one of my gym buddies. I wasn't understanding why it didn't feel right.

And then one ordinary day, it all started to make sense.

As I try to recall the exact moment, it really came down to realizing there is more I want to pursue; I have this passion for helping. This passion is primarily what helped me pursue my bachelors in psychology. And I wasn't allowing time for that to happen or to concentrate on the future. Not that I felt completely selfish for accepting all the training, but putting all the training in for myself was taking away from what I truly want to pursue. I want to see myself as a CrossFit trainer, as a health and life coach, and maybe even nutritional therapy counselor/practitioner. So when my time felt divide between training and work, there was no extra time for me to explore those options. The mere thought of being able to pursue IIN to become a health coach gave me anxiety - because how was I suppose to find the time to study and absorb the information to help others? And while there are weekends to put in extra work, it still wasn't happening. I continually found myself mentally worn down and in need of time to recoup for the week ahead.

I took time to talk with my main coach, to tell him what was going on. The feeling of being completely supported and understood made me realize I was making the right decision for myself. When my emotions aren't high and tears aren't shed, I know I've made the best decision for my happiness and sanity.

I felt I would be able to jump right into my new journey, but I'm now seeing I needed time to fully process everything and get it out on the table before jumping into my dreams. The easiest way I could describe it to my coach was that there was a mental shift, one that seemed to happen overnight and needed my full attention. After having his own similar feeling, there was no way he couldn't understand where I was coming from.

While this feels like a lot of rambling, this is a long time coming. It just took time for all the thoughts to come full circle.

one day

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